Comments on: What Sucks & What Rocks About ADHD http://healthlifeandstuff.com/2009/12/what-sucks-what-rocks-about-adhd/ We explain complex medical stuff Mon, 21 May 2012 21:37:55 +0000 hourly 1 By: David http://healthlifeandstuff.com/2009/12/what-sucks-what-rocks-about-adhd/comment-page-2/#comment-140045 David Tue, 14 Feb 2012 02:46:44 +0000 http://healthlifeandstuff.com/?p=1350#comment-140045 Hi Stacey, Balancing out my Adderall has been a big challenge.  If I take too much I become somewhat of an asshole.  Self confident but not caring about what others think.  Also the "My way or the highway" syndrome would exert itself.  The XR version of Adderall has a much smoother lift off and let down.  I take much less then is normally prescribed also.  About 15 mg per day maximum.  I have also balanced my Adderall with an SSRI inhibitor that I was taking for years before the ADHD diagnosis.  It is a careful balance of the two but I think I finally have it down.  The Citalopram (SSRI) makes me nicer and less edgy.  My self confidence is so much better now.  I can speak in public and do a great job again. Hi Stacey,
Balancing out my Adderall has been a big challenge.  If I take too much I become somewhat of an asshole.  Self confident but not caring about what others think.  Also the “My way or the highway” syndrome would exert itself.  The XR version of Adderall has a much smoother lift off and let down.  I take much less then is normally prescribed also.  About 15 mg per day maximum.  I have also balanced my Adderall with an SSRI inhibitor that I was taking for years before the ADHD diagnosis.  It is a careful balance of the two but I think I finally have it down.  The Citalopram (SSRI) makes me nicer and less edgy.  My self confidence is so much better now.  I can speak in public and do a great job again.

]]> By: Stacey http://healthlifeandstuff.com/2009/12/what-sucks-what-rocks-about-adhd/comment-page-2/#comment-139022 Stacey Wed, 08 Feb 2012 17:56:57 +0000 http://healthlifeandstuff.com/?p=1350#comment-139022 Jennifer, I feel the exact same way! I felt like while reading your post, I was reading something I have written or could have written myself. Everything from the side effects of smoking, i'm constantly clinching my teeth and I dont even realize until I let loose and feel the burn, I feel great other then a few of those side effects. I am on Adderall, just started taking it yesterday. I do not like the feeling I have when i'm coming down off of the medicine ie: severe headaches, heightened sense of hearing, heart racing. My mom also noticed I got a bit aggravated very easily yesterday evening. I was reading a book which I have not been able to do in a very long time. I was fully focused and she interrupted me to watch a video on youtube. Before medication I was always very aggitated constantly so she is used to it, but I accidentally snapped at her and realized it after I did it and immediately felt guilty and apologized (something i would not do before). I don't know if this is a side affect of the medicine or if I was just finally able to hyperconcentrate on reading a book which I love to do and couldnt understand why she would want to interrupt me when i'm finally enjoying being able to fully focus on reading. Either way it was uncalled for, I didn't actually "snap" or anything I just got frusterated and asked her to hurry up because I was trying to read. The medication allows me to fully multi-task without any thoughts, doubts or worries about messing something up. In the past most of my mistakes came from lack of confidence and self doubt. I too, jump from job to job, relationship to relationship, groups of friends, social events. I want to just be completely satisfied with ONE job, ONE spouse. I want to stop looking for the next best thing, constantly thinking about the "what if" in everything. I feel this medicine makes me happy, and I have a natural energy with it. I was a very advanced child, my parents thought I was going to be a whiz kid and looking back on home videos of myself as a toddler, I know I was very advanced for my age. I knew my abc's in english and french along with prayers in both languages before I turned 2, I knew almost every song on the radio, I was not shy at all and I learned from others very easily. I have vivid recollections of myself as a very small child, things my parents cant explain because according to them I should have been entirely too young to remember, but my memories are spot on. I started school and all of my previous advancements slowly declined. I made straight A's until 4th grade. I made my first B and then came C's D's and a few F's. I hated school, I enjoyed being with my friends but I could not ever concentrate in class. I thought that was normal for a kid, none of my friends liked school but they made better grades then me. I always thought I was just lazy and not applying myself, even knowing the punishments I would face at home for my grades, I still couldn't pick them up. I've always felt like the daughter that failed my parents expectations, whereas my younger sister is an amazing student. My parents tell me all the time how much they love me and are proud of me, I just know in my heart that I have so much potential and dont know what to do with myself. I have no college degree, I went to college on a softball scholarship and quit 6 months into school. I started working and have been working ever since. I jump from job to job, my longest job being a little over a year. I have no trouble getting jobs because I am a great people person and have a great energy about myself. I always accel at every job I have had and every job that I have quit was always for better opportunities then the one before. My previous employers are always sad to see me go and I still have a great relationship with all of them. Throughout my struggles with ADD (which I never knew I even had until a couple of weeks ago) I have learned alot about myself. All my life I have been struggling with a major identity crisis. Since I have always felt different from everyone else, I have focused my time and energy on making other people happy in order for them to accept me and like me. All along I couldnt accept myself for who I was because I was uneducated about my disorder. After breaking off a 4 year relationship with my fiance' & feeling like i'm in my 50's when i'm actually only 23, I decided to seek a therpaist to help me figure out what is wrong with me. Why am I always depressed, searching for something more, worried, anxious, looking for the highs in life, never satisfied etc. etc. She came down to the fact that I am ADD. I do believe at times the Hyper comes into effect but not very often. Although this is oly my second day taking Adderoll, I can honestly say that I finally feel like the me I have always longed to be. I am anxious to find a job and stick to it, ready to be independent and take control over my life living for who I am now. It is a great feeling to finally understand who you are and fully embrace it. It helps to surround yourself with people who are open minded and understand your disorder and accept you for who you are. My ex called me immature, dramatic, etc. I was always hearing statements like "Grow up!", "Calm Down!", "You are so annoying!"etc. I gave him headaches and he pulled me deep into depression. I stuck it out as long as I did in order to somewha prove a point to myself that I needed to stick it out no matter what and stop jumping from relationship to relationship, just be happy with what I have and so on and so forth. I am very thankful for the loving friends and family that accepted me for who I was even though we didn't fully understand it, and is very thankful and appreciative to have the "old me" back. Now that my family and close friends are educated on my disorder, everything makes better sense and we have put a little bit of humor to the whole situation. Anytime I do something that my family or friends or myself recognize as an ADD symptom, we joke about it and make it known by saying something like "There goes your ADD again :)" or i'll jokingly apologize with "Sorry, that's my ADD making an appearance. :)" we all giggle and it helps me to recognize things I need to work on. Being aware won't fix the problem but it does slow it down A LOT! now with my medication I am finally an even better version of myself, and I feel normal besides the minor side effects which i'm hoping will eventually fade away. I hope my story has helped you and given positive hopes for your betterment. It's all about trial and error, realization and acceptance. everything else will fall into place. One thing I will never stray from is following my gut, I was very adament about not taking medication. I don't even take anything for headaches, I just don't like medicine. I wasted a lot of time and years because i was stubborn. To anyone who isn't sure and can relate to any or all of the things I have dealt with,Ii can promise you.. you can't do it alone, no matter how bad you wish you could. Trying to "fix" yourself or "control" things or "just don't/just do it" won't work. Medicine really does help the things that therapy and strong minded aspirations can't change.If you are reading this now and suffer with all of the things on this post and relate to everyone commenting in some kind of way, I'm asking you to give medication a chance. You can always discontinue use if it doesn't work for you or you don't like it. Just please don't waste anymore of your life untreated, you are missing out on all the things you have always wanted and dreamed of, from reaching goals to small relief of anxiety or depression. Everything helps. Good Luck and God Bless all of you! Remember: YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. Jennifer, I feel the exact same way! I felt like while reading your post, I was reading something I have written or could have written myself. Everything from the side effects of smoking, i’m constantly clinching my teeth and I dont even realize until I let loose and feel the burn, I feel great other then a few of those side effects. I am on Adderall, just started taking it yesterday. I do not like the feeling I have when i’m coming down off of the medicine ie: severe headaches, heightened sense of hearing, heart racing. My mom also noticed I got a bit aggravated very easily yesterday evening. I was reading a book which I have not been able to do in a very long time. I was fully focused and she interrupted me to watch a video on youtube. Before medication I was always very aggitated constantly so she is used to it, but I accidentally snapped at her and realized it after I did it and immediately felt guilty and apologized (something i would not do before). I don’t know if this is a side affect of the medicine or if I was just finally able to hyperconcentrate on reading a book which I love to do and couldnt understand why she would want to interrupt me when i’m finally enjoying being able to fully focus on reading. Either way it was uncalled for, I didn’t actually “snap” or anything I just got frusterated and asked her to hurry up because I was trying to read. The medication allows me to fully multi-task without any thoughts, doubts or worries about messing something up. In the past most of my mistakes came from lack of confidence and self doubt. I too, jump from job to job, relationship to relationship, groups of friends, social events. I want to just be completely satisfied with ONE job, ONE spouse. I want to stop looking for the next best thing, constantly thinking about the “what if” in everything. I feel this medicine makes me happy, and I have a natural energy with it. I was a very advanced child, my parents thought I was going to be a whiz kid and looking back on home videos of myself as a toddler, I know I was very advanced for my age. I knew my abc’s in english and french along with prayers in both languages before I turned 2, I knew almost every song on the radio, I was not shy at all and I learned from others very easily. I have vivid recollections of myself as a very small child, things my parents cant explain because according to them I should have been entirely too young to remember, but my memories are spot on. I started school and all of my previous advancements slowly declined. I made straight A’s until 4th grade. I made my first B and then came C’s D’s and a few F’s. I hated school, I enjoyed being with my friends but I could not ever concentrate in class. I thought that was normal for a kid, none of my friends liked school but they made better grades then me. I always thought I was just lazy and not applying myself, even knowing the punishments I would face at home for my grades, I still couldn’t pick them up. I’ve always felt like the daughter that failed my parents expectations, whereas my younger sister is an amazing student. My parents tell me all the time how much they love me and are proud of me, I just know in my heart that I have so much potential and dont know what to do with myself. I have no college degree, I went to college on a softball scholarship and quit 6 months into school. I started working and have been working ever since. I jump from job to job, my longest job being a little over a year. I have no trouble getting jobs because I am a great people person and have a great energy about myself. I always accel at every job I have had and every job that I have quit was always for better opportunities then the one before. My previous employers are always sad to see me go and I still have a great relationship with all of them. Throughout my struggles with ADD (which I never knew I even had until a couple of weeks ago) I have learned alot about myself. All my life I have been struggling with a major identity crisis. Since I have always felt different from everyone else, I have focused my time and energy on making other people happy in order for them to accept me and like me. All along I couldnt accept myself for who I was because I was uneducated about my disorder. After breaking off a 4 year relationship with my fiance’ & feeling like i’m in my 50′s when i’m actually only 23, I decided to seek a therpaist to help me figure out what is wrong with me. Why am I always depressed, searching for something more, worried, anxious, looking for the highs in life, never satisfied etc. etc. She came down to the fact that I am ADD. I do believe at times the Hyper comes into effect but not very often. Although this is oly my second day taking Adderoll, I can honestly say that I finally feel like the me I have always longed to be. I am anxious to find a job and stick to it, ready to be independent and take control over my life living for who I am now. It is a great feeling to finally understand who you are and fully embrace it. It helps to surround yourself with people who are open minded and understand your disorder and accept you for who you are. My ex called me immature, dramatic, etc. I was always hearing statements like “Grow up!”, “Calm Down!”, “You are so annoying!”etc. I gave him headaches and he pulled me deep into depression. I stuck it out as long as I did in order to somewha prove a point to myself that I needed to stick it out no matter what and stop jumping from relationship to relationship, just be happy with what I have and so on and so forth. I am very thankful for the loving friends and family that accepted me for who I was even though we didn’t fully understand it, and is very thankful and appreciative to have the “old me” back. Now that my family and close friends are educated on my disorder, everything makes better sense and we have put a little bit of humor to the whole situation. Anytime I do something
that my family or friends or myself recognize as an ADD symptom, we joke about it and make it known by saying something like “There goes your ADD again :)” or i’ll jokingly apologize with “Sorry, that’s my ADD making an appearance. :)” we all giggle and it helps me to recognize things I need to work on. Being aware won’t fix the problem but it does slow it down A LOT! now with my medication I am finally an even better version of myself, and I feel normal besides the minor side effects which i’m hoping will eventually fade away. I hope my story has helped you and given positive hopes for your betterment. It’s all about trial and error, realization and acceptance. everything else will fall into place. One thing I will never stray from is following my gut, I was very adament about not taking medication. I don’t even take anything for headaches, I just don’t like medicine. I wasted a lot of time and years because i was stubborn. To anyone who isn’t sure and can relate to any or all of the things I have dealt with,Ii can promise you.. you can’t do it alone, no matter how bad you wish you could. Trying to “fix” yourself or “control” things or “just don’t/just do it” won’t work. Medicine really does help the things that therapy and strong minded aspirations can’t change.If you are reading this now and suffer with all of the things on this post and relate to everyone commenting in some kind of way, I’m asking you to give medication a chance. You can always discontinue use if it doesn’t work for you or you don’t like it. Just please don’t waste anymore of your life untreated, you are missing out on all the things you have always wanted and dreamed of, from reaching goals to small relief of anxiety or depression. Everything helps. Good Luck and God Bless all of you! Remember: YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.

]]> By: Sean http://healthlifeandstuff.com/2009/12/what-sucks-what-rocks-about-adhd/comment-page-2/#comment-137404 Sean Sat, 28 Jan 2012 22:21:10 +0000 http://healthlifeandstuff.com/?p=1350#comment-137404 Brooke, I read your comment top to bottom... and as I was reading it I could swear that I had written it myself. I myself was diagnosed with ADD - inattentive type and deal with many similar, if not the exact same, problems you had described. It made me feel comfortable to know that there was someone else out there dealing with the exact same struggles in life that I myself have, I guess I just wanted to return the favor... Brooke, I read your comment top to bottom… and as I was reading it I could swear that I had written it myself. I myself was diagnosed with ADD – inattentive type and deal with many similar, if not the exact same, problems you had described. It made me feel comfortable to know that there was someone else out there dealing with the exact same struggles in life that I myself have, I guess I just wanted to return the favor…

]]> By: David http://healthlifeandstuff.com/2009/12/what-sucks-what-rocks-about-adhd/comment-page-1/#comment-132206 David Tue, 03 Jan 2012 03:09:57 +0000 http://healthlifeandstuff.com/?p=1350#comment-132206 I am a couple years into the treatment off my ADHD with Adderall.  My life had spiraled out of control and I had all the symptoms shown on this site.  Despite behavioral issues all my life I have been able to build a successful business.  I used to skip out of work every chance I got.  Now I work too late many nights.  I am getting a lot done but it is at the expense of my play time.  My wife likes me better on the Adderall and I am a better husband.   I am a couple years into the treatment off my ADHD with Adderall.  My life had spiraled out of control and I had all the symptoms shown on this site.  Despite behavioral issues all my life I have been able to build a successful business.  I used to skip out of work every chance I got.  Now I work too late many nights.  I am getting a lot done but it is at the expense of my play time.  My wife likes me better on the Adderall and I am a better husband.  

]]> By: Marion http://healthlifeandstuff.com/2009/12/what-sucks-what-rocks-about-adhd/comment-page-1/#comment-128458 Marion Mon, 19 Dec 2011 14:19:57 +0000 http://healthlifeandstuff.com/?p=1350#comment-128458 Wow...so much in common with folks...I too have a counseling degree and earn $46K....and struggle w inattentive ADD. Find at 59 I am mourning roads not taken, while still taking and planning to take those roads when I can. The shortage of regular Adderall was hard...I take a low dose and the same as an XR makes my heart race. The hardest parts are that I have a hard time remembering to take the medicine as well as remembering to get the prescription for the refill...I mean, you'd think there'd be more awareness that our forgetfulness IS from ADD! Side note: I get irritated when people say they ARE ADD. How can people say they are a disorder (that's what the second D stands for)? A lot of people with ADD are creative, brilliant, kind people -- they are not ADD, it is just a disorder we have that affects our behavior. Who we are is manifold, many things. I feel so deeply for other who also wish they were different but know that we mean well and are doing our best and that we are sometimes exceptional at what we do well. Hugs to all. Wow…so much in common with folks…I too have a counseling degree and earn $46K….and struggle w inattentive ADD. Find at 59 I am mourning roads not taken, while still taking and planning to take those roads when I can. The shortage of regular Adderall was hard…I take a low dose and the same as an XR makes my heart race. The hardest parts are that I have a hard time remembering to take the medicine as well as remembering to get the prescription for the refill…I mean, you’d think there’d be more awareness that our forgetfulness IS from ADD! Side note: I get irritated when people say they ARE ADD. How can people say they are a disorder (that’s what the second D stands for)? A lot of people with ADD are creative, brilliant, kind people — they are not ADD, it is just a disorder we have that affects our behavior. Who we are is manifold, many things. I feel so deeply for other who also wish they were different but know that we mean well and are doing our best and that we are sometimes exceptional at what we do well. Hugs to all.

]]> By: Christine http://healthlifeandstuff.com/2009/12/what-sucks-what-rocks-about-adhd/comment-page-1/#comment-117266 Christine Tue, 22 Nov 2011 19:01:35 +0000 http://healthlifeandstuff.com/?p=1350#comment-117266 Jennifer, I feel your pain and wish I could help but unfortunately I am in the same boat. Good luck... :-) Jennifer, I feel your pain and wish I could help but unfortunately I am in the same boat. Good luck… :-)

]]> By: Christine http://healthlifeandstuff.com/2009/12/what-sucks-what-rocks-about-adhd/comment-page-1/#comment-117263 Christine Tue, 22 Nov 2011 18:59:02 +0000 http://healthlifeandstuff.com/?p=1350#comment-117263 Ok, this is extremely interesting. LOL, I was researching Prescription assistance for my meds, stumbled on this and haven't gone any further. Needless to say I really should have been working on school work but like most find it hard to get started and stay focused. Just started Adderal XR today which I have used briefly in the past with great results/ I also take Welbuterin on a long term basis, been on Ritalin IR for 8 mos. but stopped working and didn't work to well anyway. Dr wants to add Abilify, not sure about that one, does anyone have experience with Abilify? It is very expensive ($445 for 30, 5mg tabs) and I can’t afford it anyway, just curious. I am 52 with recent ADD diagnoses, and a 35 yr off and on veteran bartender. I have struggled for years feeling worthless and stupid but also tried my entire life to get help. I like most have not found success at anything I done except bartending. I have tried many types of employment and this is my 3rd and final attempt at getting a college education striving for Nurse Practitioner or Phys. Assist. but struggling to stay on task. I have lifetime issues with chronic depression (self diagnosed @ 14) and anxiety along with alcohol abuse and cocaine in the past, not now. I was abused sexually once as a child, physically by other children constantly from age 7 to 15, became a mother @ 17, married twice with a continuous line of physical and/or mentally abusive relationships (sometimes it was me doing the abusing or responding in kind), struggle with self-esteem and self-worth. I currently live (10 yrs) with an untreated bipolar depressive because I can’t support myself or household expenses, although I care about him like a very good friend and used to be in love with him.. Who is ocd, controlling, passive-aggressive, never happy, never smiles, always negative, always with the nasty negative comments about myself, my brother (early onset dementia) and son (when he was here but now in prison) with schizophrenia. I feel somewhat emotionally vacant and distant, ending most days with a few drinks or more sometimes. I sometimes get really ugly when I drink and think about my past or am upset about the way he has been treating me or what’s been going on recently, saying really ugly and hurtful things. Because of the cost of Adderal ($326 for 60 caps @ 30 mg),the current dig , he is saying I am addicted, don’t need them, it’s an excuse and it is just a way of getting high which it doesn’t have that effect on me. Heres where I am at, I have never had a satisfying relationship and life is running out. I don't want to die having never experience real happiness or contribution to this world. I guess this is kind of rambling but what was on my mind. Now I need to try and get some school work done because I am 2.5 modules behind in Health with a paper due soon also and have Psy module due next week and a paper also. Ok, this is extremely interesting. LOL, I was researching Prescription assistance for my meds, stumbled on this and haven’t gone any further. Needless to say I really should have been working on school work but like most find it hard to get started and stay focused. Just started Adderal XR today which I have used briefly in the past with great results/ I also take Welbuterin on a long term basis, been on Ritalin IR for 8 mos. but stopped working and didn’t work to well anyway. Dr wants to add Abilify, not sure about that one, does anyone have experience with Abilify? It is very expensive ($445 for 30, 5mg tabs) and I can’t afford it anyway, just curious. I am 52 with recent ADD diagnoses, and a 35 yr off and on veteran bartender. I have struggled for years feeling worthless and stupid but also tried my entire life to get help. I like most have not found success at anything I done except bartending. I have tried many types of employment and this is my 3rd and final attempt at getting a college education striving for Nurse Practitioner or Phys. Assist. but struggling to stay on task. I have lifetime issues with chronic depression (self diagnosed @ 14) and anxiety along with alcohol abuse and cocaine in the past, not now. I was abused sexually once as a child, physically by other children constantly from age 7 to 15, became a mother @ 17, married twice with a continuous line of physical and/or mentally abusive relationships (sometimes it was me doing the abusing or responding in kind), struggle with self-esteem and self-worth. I currently live (10 yrs) with an untreated bipolar depressive because I can’t support myself or household expenses, although I care about him like a very good friend and used to be in love with him.. Who is ocd, controlling, passive-aggressive, never happy, never smiles, always negative, always with the nasty negative comments about myself, my brother (early onset dementia) and son (when he was here but now in prison) with schizophrenia. I feel somewhat emotionally vacant and distant, ending most days with a few drinks or more sometimes. I sometimes get really ugly when I drink and think about my past or am upset about the way he has been treating me or what’s been going on recently, saying really ugly and hurtful things. Because of the cost of Adderal ($326 for 60 caps @ 30 mg),the current dig , he is saying I am addicted, don’t need them, it’s an excuse and it is just a way of getting high which it doesn’t have that effect on me. Heres where I am at, I have never had a satisfying relationship and life is running out. I don’t want to die having never experience real happiness or contribution to this world. I guess this is kind of rambling but what was on my mind. Now I need to try and get some school work done because I am 2.5 modules behind in Health with a paper due soon also and have Psy module due next week and a paper also.

]]> By: Jennifer http://healthlifeandstuff.com/2009/12/what-sucks-what-rocks-about-adhd/comment-page-1/#comment-110252 Jennifer Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:53:47 +0000 http://healthlifeandstuff.com/?p=1350#comment-110252 Can anyone help me??? I have received negative feedback concerning myself in my career and I have been thinking about whether I am really cut out for what I am trying to do (business / consulting) and whether I will be able to succeed. Per the Dean of Students, no matter what I do I won’t succeed and I proved him right once the day after he said that to me, by sleeping through an interview (didn’t hear my many alarms). I received a nasty letter from the Dean and now he had proof he was right and I believe him anyway. Okay, and I was starting to get very down on myself and got sick of always screwing up and apologizing. I then stopped really trying. I didn't realize this at first but my psychiatrist told me the Dean is a narcissist and that is why the Dean cares and I just need to do what he says. My doctor also noted that I was being passive aggressive cause I was simply pissed off with the system and the politics and I am trying to self-handicap. You know? He was so right! Right after my first missed interview that prompted the dean to yell at me, I missed my flight to an interview session in SF and I was somewhat sad I was able to get on another flight. This was my subconscious doing these awful things and I didn't really see that until it was pointed out to me. I also think I was being passive aggressive as my and found myself not preparing for interviews and / or procrastinating. I simply felt I could not go on anymore. I am doing the same things over and over again yet expecting different results. And then I would barely make it on time and I have even missed or almost didn’t make an interview. Some things that I do, do really seem offensive to me; other things I do don’t seem to be such a big deal and I wonder why the consequences and people are so harsh. I already am hard on myself as it is. I just have been dealing with a lot of failures and criticism that it is hard to keep going on and on. I feel like I am losing my mind and things are getting worse and worse… I think I think my issues may be due to ADHD. Well, I was diagnosed with ADHD last year for the first time (age 30) but I didn’t think I really understood what that meant. How was I diagnosed? I was hit by a car while walking to grad school and had some issues with focus and cognition afterwards. I was referred to an outpatient psychiatric facility for memory testing (like an IQ test) and on easy tasks I performed below average and on challenging tasks I performed well above average. I remember being bored a lot and frustrated. I felt the tester was patronizing me. The doctor who read the report noted impulsivity and suggested that is what I had and then I followed up with a psychiatrist who prescribed medication. Although those with ADHD seem to have trouble finishing tasks, I have managed to complete some pretty great resume builders. I just completed business school from a full time top MBA program and I graduated in accounting first in my class undergrad, passed the CPA exam on the first try, and earned a graduate certificate and another certification. However, I am not successful!!!!! I don't know how I was able to do so well in undergraduate school. In grad school, I had trouble working in groups and didn't do quite as well my first year. I started taking Adderall my 2nd year and I got a 3.9 and had more classes and even socialized quite a bit. But then I am having some issues still and I am having trouble getting a job. I have trouble during interviews with rambling, how I communicate, being tardy, being too casual, telling personal information, saying things that aren't necessary, and saying things that are stupid and not realizing it beforehand. I like to not be very serious and interject humor or else I can't stand the interview. Why? It’s boring and I hate all of the BS, I think, anyway. It's like I am awesome, duh. I feel uncomfortable selling myself, etc. I have gotten many interviews it is a joke and I keep failing. I had a job for a week and was let go because the client didn't like me, that was an extremely conservative and cynical client ( the senior manager dropped the ball and didn't let the client know my purpose all I did was ask two questions but I was asked to not talk and I didn't get that). Basically I since my medication hasn’t been working and I wasn’t succeeding, didn’t really think I had an issues with ADHD (and wasn’t diagnosed as a child )so I did some research. I read this article http://healthlifeandstuff.com/2009/12/what-sucks-what-rocks-about-adhd/ then read all of the comments below. I could identify with all of them almost. I pretty much thought I could have written the very first comment posted. It’s crazy. The bottom line is that I am wired differently. So now it makes me wonder whether I can mitigate for my impulsivity, lack of focus, being forgetful, late, failure to start and or finish things that aren’t of interest, spacing out in meetings, tending to get bored extremely quickly, etc. The good things about ADHD are the thinking outside the box, innovation / creativity, love for change, passion, loyalty to things important to oneself and to friends, ability to focus on challenging tasks (I love programming), etc. But can I find something I can do in business? I think I may need to work in a non-conservative and flexible workplace that delivers products and services that I can be passionate about and be able to have fun (Darn, the only company I can think won't hire me or consider me for any positions since there is negative feedback about me in the system). I also have brilliant ideas and love learning but the thing is that I often don’t like to execute and carry out those ideas. One guy’s post per the above article said he had six majors and never finished one of them and made a really good living inventing ways to make money and work for himself. Perhaps this is what I need to do: work for myself and invent a way to make money (though I had a lot of trouble picking a major I wound up completing two degrees, one graduate certificate, and two certifications so that is good). However, another guy posted something that I kind of face: he has had trouble with jobs because he doesn’t do what his passions are since he doesn’t think he can make money so he forces himself to do the opposite (a thing I think I am doing). Another guy posted that he wonders if he can sue for wrongful termination since this is a disability (for being tardy, a problem I have always had and never can seem to control and I think that has been my biggest setback and have been scolded and made fun of for it and I try hard but it sometimes doesn’t work for me). Perhaps I need to find the right medication if I cannot find the right job? I am currently taking Vivance but I find myself too intense and need to take myself down a notch. Moreover, I have never smoked before and it makes me want to smoke. I also clench my jaw and I don’t know if these side effects are common. Lately, I have been thinking that I might need to go back to school for something else but come on, I am 31 and am on my way to 32 and have tons of loans. At some point I need to stop going to school and working on the next big thing to keep my interest. Not sure. I guess what I want to know is, is there help for me? Should I keep trying? What if anyone's help is a waste of their time and I simply can’t get better? It’s really hard for me to admit these things but I need to finally face reality. At this point, I just want to be happy and not live my life constantly failing, constantly putting effort into things over and over again yet not being successful, constantly being scolded and criticized, and constantly feeling bad about myself, and constantly apologizing (some things I literally feel terrible about and other things I feel aren’t such a big deal). Another thing is that since I am not working I am suddenly not productive. I work better with a schedule and something that forces me to do things yet I am unable to get myself moving and do the job search again. I find myself bored to tears. I think joining a sports league or getting out of the house would really help me. The trouble is forcing myself to do so but I am trying to meet people and find a league to join since my social life is almost non existent since my grad school friends moved away and are doing the things that I should be doing. Thoughts? Has anyone experienced the same issues as I have with medication (need to smoke, rambling, still unable to completely focus for long periods). I think it worked for me but no longer does or perhaps I need a different dose or to try a new med????? Oh another thing is that I have insomnia. Anyone else??? I can't get to sleep but once I do I sleep too late and don't hear my alarms. I don't know what gives. Anyone have this happen? Not sure if it is related to the ADHD. One final question: it seems everyone agrees those with ADHD are really smart and have high IQ's, which I do. However, are you also quirky and extremely extrovered / high energy? Those are not bad things just wondered if it is connected. Can anyone help me??? I have received negative feedback concerning myself in my career and I have been thinking about whether I am really cut out for what I am trying to do (business / consulting) and whether I will be able to succeed. Per the Dean of Students, no matter what I do I won’t succeed and I proved him right once the day after he said that to me, by sleeping through an interview (didn’t hear my many alarms). I received a nasty letter from the Dean and now he had proof he was right and I believe him anyway. Okay, and I was starting to get very down on myself and got sick of always screwing up and apologizing. I then stopped really trying. I didn’t realize this at first but my psychiatrist told me the Dean is a narcissist and that is why the Dean cares and I just need to do what he says. My doctor also noted that I was being passive aggressive cause I was simply pissed off with the system and the politics and I am trying to self-handicap. You know? He was so right! Right after my first missed interview that prompted the dean to yell at me, I missed my flight to an interview session in SF and I was somewhat sad I was able to get on another flight. This was my subconscious doing these awful things and I didn’t really see that until it was pointed out to me. I also think I was being passive aggressive as my and found myself not preparing for interviews and / or procrastinating. I simply felt I could not go on anymore. I am doing the same things over and over again yet expecting different results. And then I would barely make it on time and I have even missed or almost didn’t make an interview. Some things that I do, do really seem offensive to me; other things I do don’t seem to be such a big deal and I wonder why the consequences and people are so harsh. I already am hard on myself as it is. I just have been dealing with a lot of failures and criticism that it is hard to keep going on and on. I feel like I am losing my mind and things are getting worse and worse…

I think I think my issues may be due to ADHD. Well, I was diagnosed with ADHD last year for the first time (age 30) but I didn’t think I really understood what that meant. How was I diagnosed? I was hit by a car while walking to grad school and had some issues with focus and cognition afterwards. I was referred to an outpatient psychiatric facility for memory testing (like an IQ test) and on easy tasks I performed below average and on challenging tasks I performed well above average. I remember being bored a lot and frustrated. I felt the tester was patronizing me. The doctor who read the report noted impulsivity and suggested that is what I had and then I followed up with a psychiatrist who prescribed medication.

Although those with ADHD seem to have trouble finishing tasks, I have managed to complete some pretty great resume builders. I just completed business school from a full time top MBA program and I graduated in accounting first in my class undergrad, passed the CPA exam on the first try, and earned a graduate certificate and another certification. However, I am not successful!!!!! I don’t know how I was able to do so well in undergraduate school. In grad school, I had trouble working in groups and didn’t do quite as well my first year. I started taking Adderall my 2nd year and I got a 3.9 and had more classes and even socialized quite a bit. But then I am having some issues still and I am having trouble getting a job. I have trouble during interviews with rambling, how I communicate, being tardy, being too casual, telling personal information, saying things that aren’t necessary, and saying things that are stupid and not realizing it beforehand. I like to not be very serious and interject humor or else I can’t stand the interview. Why? It’s boring and I hate all of the BS, I think, anyway. It’s like I am awesome, duh. I feel uncomfortable selling myself, etc. I have gotten many interviews it is a joke and I keep failing. I had a job for a week and was let go because the client didn’t like me, that was an extremely conservative and cynical client ( the senior manager dropped the ball and didn’t let the client know my purpose all I did was ask two questions but I was asked to not talk and I didn’t get that).

Basically I since my medication hasn’t been working and I wasn’t succeeding, didn’t really think I had an issues with ADHD (and wasn’t diagnosed as a child )so I did some research. I read this article http://healthlifeandstuff.com/2009/12/what-sucks-what-rocks-about-adhd/ then read all of the comments below. I could identify with all of them almost. I pretty much thought I could have written the very first comment posted. It’s crazy. The bottom line is that I am wired differently. So now it makes me wonder whether I can mitigate for my impulsivity, lack of focus, being forgetful, late, failure to start and or finish things that aren’t of interest, spacing out in meetings, tending to get bored extremely quickly, etc.

The good things about ADHD are the thinking outside the box, innovation / creativity, love for change, passion, loyalty to things important to oneself and to friends, ability to focus on challenging tasks (I love programming), etc. But can I find something I can do in business?

I think I may need to work in a non-conservative and flexible workplace that delivers products and services that I can be passionate about and be able to have fun (Darn, the only company I can think won’t hire me or consider me for any positions since there is negative feedback about me in the system). I also have brilliant ideas and love learning but the thing is that I often don’t like to execute and carry out those ideas. One guy’s post per the above article said he had six majors and never finished one of them and made a really good living inventing ways to make money and work for himself. Perhaps this is what I need to do: work for myself and invent a way to make money (though I had a lot of trouble picking a major I wound up completing two degrees, one graduate certificate, and two certifications so that is good). However, another guy posted something that I kind of face: he has had trouble with jobs because he doesn’t do what his passions are since he doesn’t think he can make money so he forces himself to do the opposite (a thing I think I am doing). Another guy posted that he wonders if he can sue for wrongful termination since this is a disability (for being tardy, a problem I have always had and never can seem to control and I think that has been my biggest setback and have been scolded and made fun of for it and I try hard but it sometimes doesn’t work for me).

Perhaps I need to find the right medication if I cannot find the right job? I am currently taking Vivance but I find myself too intense and need to take myself down a notch. Moreover, I have never smoked before and it makes me want to smoke. I also clench my jaw and I don’t know if these side effects are common. Lately, I have been thinking that I might need to go back to school for something else but come on, I am 31 and am on my way to 32 and have tons of loans. At some point I need to stop going to school and working on the next big thing to keep my interest. Not sure. I guess what I want to know is, is there help for me? Should I keep trying? What if anyone’s help is a waste of their time and I simply can’t get better? It’s really hard for me to admit these things but I need to finally face reality. At this point, I just want to be happy and not live my life constantly failing, constantly putting effort into things over and over again yet not being successful, constantly being scolded and criticized, and constantly feeling bad about myself, and constantly apologizing (some things I literally feel terrible about and other things I feel aren’t such a big deal).

Another thing is that since I am not working I am suddenly not productive. I work better with a schedule and something that forces me to do things yet I am unable to get myself moving and do the job search again. I find myself bored to tears. I think joining a sports league or getting out of the house would really help me. The trouble is forcing myself to do so but I am trying to meet people and find a league to join since my social life is almost non existent since my grad school friends moved away and are doing the things that I should be doing. Thoughts?

Has anyone experienced the same issues as I have with medication (need to smoke, rambling, still unable to completely focus for long periods). I think it worked for me but no longer does or perhaps I need a different dose or to try a new med????? Oh another thing is that I have insomnia. Anyone else??? I can’t get to sleep but once I do I sleep too late and don’t hear my alarms. I don’t know what gives. Anyone have this happen? Not sure if it is related to the ADHD. One final question: it seems everyone agrees those with ADHD are really smart and have high IQ’s, which I do. However, are you also quirky and extremely extrovered / high energy? Those are not bad things just wondered if it is connected.

]]> By: amylee http://healthlifeandstuff.com/2009/12/what-sucks-what-rocks-about-adhd/comment-page-1/#comment-99065 amylee Sun, 23 Oct 2011 18:35:58 +0000 http://healthlifeandstuff.com/?p=1350#comment-99065 I was diagnosed in my early 30s with add. I startted taking adderall and felt better. Unfortunately it was to late to save my marriage. I am out of work with three kids and now there is a shortage of adderall. my doctor switched me to ritalin. I have been sleeping all day and night. I sure hope this doesn't last. my brain even feels asleep. to make things worse I believe my 8 year old has it. he is not doing well with the seperation. How can I help him when I haven't learned to deal with it myself? I'm just so tired. I am on an antidepressent and felt good until I switched medicine. I was diagnosed in my early 30s with add. I startted taking adderall and felt better. Unfortunately it was to late to save my marriage. I am out of work with three kids and now there is a shortage of adderall. my doctor switched me to ritalin. I have been sleeping all day and night. I sure hope this doesn’t last. my brain even feels asleep. to make things worse I believe my 8 year old has it. he is not doing well with the seperation. How can I help him when I haven’t learned to deal with it myself? I’m just so tired. I am on an antidepressent and felt good until I switched medicine.

]]> By: SirDoAlot http://healthlifeandstuff.com/2009/12/what-sucks-what-rocks-about-adhd/comment-page-1/#comment-97465 SirDoAlot Thu, 20 Oct 2011 02:47:19 +0000 http://healthlifeandstuff.com/?p=1350#comment-97465 I found this site while searching for information about alternatives to Adderall, since there is a shortage here.  It's really quite interesting to read the experiences of others.  I was diagnosed with ADD as an adult and have been on Adderall for about 6-7 years.  The changes have been simply amazing.  Like others, I consider myself musically talented, creative, energetic and driven, but not always in the right direction.  Before Adderall, I burned through a couple of marriages and multiple friends as well as family members.  Nobody really cares if you have ADD, but they do care if you seem disinterested or easily distracted away from what's important to the relationship.  This is sort of like a golf game.  Nobody will notice if you play poorly, but everybody will notice if you play slowly.  Adderall has changed my life in ways I never expected.  Before taking it, I was often a hot-head.  I thought this was due to lack of sleep, diet or simply disinterest.  As a matter of FACT, if I got it in my head that I was going to build a mechanical flying spacecraft out of old radios and milk cartons, well then why would you DARE suggest that the grass needs to be cut and that I was responsible for cutting it.  Can't you see how offensive and selfish it is for you to get in my way, while I'm trying to create such interesting things!!!!  While taking Adderall, my attention has been re-directed, but the creativity is still with me.  Now, I can multi-task and also recognize that while making a spacecraft would be awesome, it might get in the way of other important matters.  Instead, I have found that my attention has been (somewhat) redirected to things that are important within my relationships.  I am much less of a hot-head, but still enjoy PRODUCTIVE creativity.  Amazing stuff, Adderall - now I just need to find a pharmacy that can fill my current prescription.  If I don't find it, look for that flying saucer on toy store shelves before Christmas!!! I found this site while searching for information about alternatives to Adderall, since there is a shortage here.  It’s really quite interesting to read the experiences of others.  I was diagnosed with ADD as an adult and have been on Adderall for about 6-7 years.  The changes have been simply amazing.  Like others, I consider myself musically talented, creative, energetic and driven, but not always in the right direction.  Before Adderall, I burned through a couple of marriages and multiple friends as well as family members.  Nobody really cares if you have ADD, but they do care if you seem disinterested or easily distracted away from what’s important to the relationship.  This is sort of like a golf game.  Nobody will notice if you play poorly, but everybody will notice if you play slowly.  Adderall has changed my life in ways I never expected.  Before taking it, I was often a hot-head.  I thought this was due to lack of sleep, diet or simply disinterest.  As a matter of FACT, if I got it in my head that I was going to build a mechanical flying spacecraft out of old radios and milk cartons, well then why would you DARE suggest that the grass needs to be cut and that I was responsible for cutting it.  Can’t you see how offensive and selfish it is for you to get in my way, while I’m trying to create such interesting things!!!!  While taking Adderall, my attention has been re-directed, but the creativity is still with me.  Now, I can multi-task and also recognize that while making a spacecraft would be awesome, it might get in the way of other important matters.  Instead, I have found that my attention has been (somewhat) redirected to things that are important within my relationships.  I am much less of a hot-head, but still enjoy PRODUCTIVE creativity.  Amazing stuff, Adderall – now I just need to find a pharmacy that can fill my current prescription.  If I don’t find it, look for that flying saucer on toy store shelves before Christmas!!!

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