If you think or know you have ADHD, you’re probably a little confused. You may not feel like you have a “deficit” but you may not be entirely happy with how things are going in your life.
Let’s be honest. Here’s some stuff that you just have to know.
1) First, if you have ADHD, you’re different. Your brain works differently. You can’t do anything about it directly (as far as I know, there isn’t a brain exchange program – yet), and, whether you like it or not, it has a major impact on your life. Most people aren’t like you.
There’s a reason you’ve been having all the issues you’ve been having – it’s not your fault.
2) There are amazing things about you that you don’t appreciate. Other people simply aren’t as energetic, friendly, interested in biofuels or spontaneous as you. By focusing on your strengths, you will achieve great success and the respect, admiration and even envy of other people (“why can’t I start my own art agency/legal practice?” and, “why can’t I get that promotion?”)
3) Life will make it near impossible for you to focus on your strengths.
You will instead focus on the fact that you can’t sit still. That you have trouble having “normal” conversations about small, boring things. That you drive really fast, blasting music. Whatever the symptoms the ADHD causes – those are the things that will hurt and depress you.
And when you focus on the bad things, other people will too. People instinctively look to other people for social guidance, how to judge things, even more so than you might think. (People with ADHD can be quite resistant to group think because they can’t ignore that nasty voice inside of them saying, “this is stupid!”)
If you are down and unhappy about your flaws, other people will see and judge them the same way you do. They’ll think, “wow, that guy’s not normal.”
If you focus all your energy on doing things that you feel you have to, but are excruciatingly hard, you’ll never be happy. And you won’t do them that well anyways!
Your gift is in certain areas, certain things, certain strengths. You are AMAZING at those things but don’t realize it. And trying to do the things you can’t, that people without ADHD can do easily, is a sure fire way to fail and be unhappy.
Would you expect a great and passionate painter to spend his time filling tax forms? Or the CEO of the company to mop the floor?
The Hunter/Farmer model proposed by Hartmann is very empowering and just makes sense to a lot of people. What it says, basically, is that people with ADHD are more like hunters – they need constant stimulation, variety, excitement and change. Other people are like farmers – focused, able to do boring things for long times, and conventional.
Now, remember, ADHD isn’t just a matter of feeling, or personality types, or lifestyle. (Although based on how many executives I know have ADHD, it can actually be an advantage at some jobs). It’s a neurological condition that we have pretty much proven is a physical condition.
If you have ADHD, your brain has different wave patterns and activity than people without it. Your basic energy processing system is different, as well as the way that you respond to stimulation. For you to maintain focus on something, it has to be very, very interesting.
We’re starting to be able to prove that by pointing at specific brain activity and abnormalities.
4) If you have ADHD, you are still fully responsible for your life. But treatment can change everything. That’s not just hyperbole. We’re talking about a complete change in everything – for the better. Even so, and even though ADHD is a real problem that can make your life hell at times, you’re still responsible for everything you do.
If you have ADHD and you run a traffic light – you still get a ticket. If you don’t do your homework and miss the final, you’ll get an F.
Remember, most other people are simply too busy to care about whether or not you have ADHD. They care about what you do, whether they enjoy spending time with you, doing business, or whatever. You are the only one ultimately responsible for your life.
And, ADHD or not – how can you make it great?
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This paticular page about adhd was very encourageing to me it explained a lot to me about myself. I’m thankful to find it thanks
I have been living with adhd all my life. U r totally right bout how good u r at things that u enjoy. I cannot keep a factory job. Its too boring pushing buttons and watching a machine. The only jobs I can keep are construction jobs. I love building and remodeling and I am very good at it. U show me something once related to construction and ill remember it forever. Its just too bad that right now I haven’t been able to find a new construction job for 6 months even though I have 6 years experience. But my wife is very understanding and doesn’t push me to take another kind of job because she understands that I simply can’t stand any other kind of work and I’ve never had a factory job (except trailer factories because I still get to build and it requires thought and calculations) for more than 2 months.
I spent years as a personal trainer for many large gym chains, ran a GNC and am now in the Decorative Concrete Industry working with my best friend of 24 years. I was diagnosed 2 years ago with ADHD and was prescribed Vyvanse. I was skeptical at first; However, it has helped me help others to focus on their goals and has changed my life for the better in so many ways. Thank you Shire.
Hi, My name is Jana. I am an adult with four children. Two of which have ADHD. It is a horrible struggle trying to get them to focus on things esp. reading. It is also a struggle every new school year with a new teacher that doesn’t understand a child with ADHD, nor have the time to try to understand. We have used Adderall for years, my youngest child put on it at the age of three by the request of a preschhol teacher (who may I ad did understand about the disease). We will be switcing to Vyvanse this week and I will update the site in a month or so when we see if there is a difference and if it is positive or negative.
I have been reading this and i am thinking, wow! I have ADHD! I cant belive this article wasnt written especially for me. a friend recently suggested that i might have ADHD because i spend half my life looking for something i’ve misplaced: my wallet, keys, scarf, sunglasses, etc. I have had trouble all my life with procrastination. Biofuels fascinate me! LOL And if im not interested in something or a conversation, my little voice is screaming “S T U P I D “. I am going to see a dr asap and try some speed!
actually, mark, this article was written just for you. I’m going to delete it now that you found it ;-)
*ahem* that said, if you liked it, you should tots get my book ^^
Where do I send the $8.50 ?
I LOVED this explanation and POSITIVE way of looking at AD/HD!
My younger brother was diagnosed with ADD in elementary school (in the 80’s) and was looked down upon. My middle brother was diagnosed with AD/HD and Dyslexia in college. Having both of my younger siblings diagnosed with learning disorders, I too went and got tested! It turned out I have AD/HD and I am the highest hyper activity level and the highest distractability level!
Since my middle brother and I were able to concentrate enough to still be above average students through coping mechanisms, we stayed below the radar until college! I wish I would have known when I was younger!!! I could have ACTUALLY learned something if I read the books or did my homework or turned in papers consistently and not late.
Anyway, my youngest brother still to this day has a negative outlook about ADD and AD/HD. I hope to send him this article and brighten his outlook! Thank you for contributing to the knowledge of this disorder (I don’t like this term, by-the-way, but am unsure of a better term at the moment) and showing the positives that ‘disorder’ can bring!!!
I get the part about focusing on your interests, but i have 3 questions about it.
First, how can I do this if I am forced to go to school and do well in subjects that dont interest you at all? Its not like I can just say “oh, its ok, I have ADHD so as long as I get an A+ in English and History, its ok for me to fail Science and Math.” How do I deal?
Second, how do i find my interests and what I’m particularly good at? At this point in my life I feel like I still have no idea what I want to do, I’m not interested in anything, and I don’t seem to be very good at anything.
Third, will taking medication prevent me from having these things that I’m supposed to be particularly good at?
I’d appreciate any advice in terms of these 3 issues because I dont know what I want to do with my future and I feel like I never will.
Jill -
if you have ADHD, treatment can be extremely helpful. At the right dose, an ADHD medication helps you focus and deal with, say Science and Math, while letting you keep your passion for English and History. While not ignoring the risks, ADHD treatments like Ritalin, Vyvanse and Adderall can help people, for the first time ever, enjoy studying, long conversations, et cetra, according to Dr. Wender, a clinician/researcher who wrote a set of guidelines for ADHD.
We’re talking finally being able to do things the way other people do while not losing sight of the things that make you you. Please seriously consider finding a therapist or someone who can help you deal with these issues.
As for finding your interests – that’s tough. It’s probably not going to happen in high school but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t get the most you can from your education.
Hope that helps.
Best wishes,
David