The 4 Secrets to Success with Adult ADHD
If you think or know you have ADHD, you’re probably a little confused. You may not feel like you have a “deficit” but you may not be entirely happy with how things are going in your life.
Let’s be honest. Here’s some stuff that you just have to know.
1) First, if you have ADHD, you’re different. Your brain works differently. You can’t do anything about it directly (as far as I know, there isn’t a brain exchange program – yet), and, whether you like it or not, it has a major impact on your life. Most people aren’t like you.
There’s a reason you’ve been having all the issues you’ve been having – it’s not your fault.
2) There are amazing things about you that you don’t appreciate. Other people simply aren’t as energetic, friendly, interested in biofuels or spontaneous as you. By focusing on your strengths, you will achieve great success and the respect, admiration and even envy of other people (“why can’t I start my own art agency/legal practice?” and, “why can’t I get that promotion?”)
3) Life will make it near impossible for you to focus on your strengths.
You will instead focus on the fact that you can’t sit still. That you have trouble having “normal” conversations about small, boring things. That you drive really fast, blasting music. Whatever the symptoms the ADHD causes – those are the things that will hurt and depress you.
And when you focus on the bad things, other people will too. People instinctively look to other people for social guidance, how to judge things, even more so than you might think. (People with ADHD can be quite resistant to group think because they can’t ignore that nasty voice inside of them saying, “this is stupid!”)
If you are down and unhappy about your flaws, other people will see and judge them the same way you do. They’ll think, “wow, that guy’s not normal.”
If you focus all your energy on doing things that you feel you have to, but are excruciatingly hard, you’ll never be happy. And you won’t do them that well anyways!
Your gift is in certain areas, certain things, certain strengths. You are AMAZING at those things but don’t realize it. And trying to do the things you can’t, that people without ADHD can do easily, is a sure fire way to fail and be unhappy.
Would you expect a great and passionate painter to spend his time filling tax forms? Or the CEO of the company to mop the floor?
The Hunter/Farmer model proposed by Hartmann is very empowering and just makes sense to a lot of people. What it says, basically, is that people with ADHD are more like hunters – they need constant stimulation, variety, excitement and change. Other people are like farmers – focused, able to do boring things for long times, and conventional.
Now, remember, ADHD isn’t just a matter of feeling, or personality types, or lifestyle. (Although based on how many executives I know have ADHD, it can actually be an advantage at some jobs). It’s a neurological condition that we have pretty much proven is a physical condition.
If you have ADHD, your brain has different wave patterns and activity than people without it. Your basic energy processing system is different, as well as the way that you respond to stimulation. For you to maintain focus on something, it has to be very, very interesting.
We’re starting to be able to prove that by pointing at specific brain activity and abnormalities.
4) If you have ADHD, you are still fully responsible for your life. But treatment can change everything. That’s not just hyperbole. We’re talking about a complete change in everything – for the better. Even so, and even though ADHD is a real problem that can make your life hell at times, you’re still responsible for everything you do.
If you have ADHD and you run a traffic light – you still get a ticket. If you don’t do your homework and miss the final, you’ll get an F.
Remember, most other people are simply too busy to care about whether or not you have ADHD. They care about what you do, whether they enjoy spending time with you, doing business, or whatever. You are the only one ultimately responsible for your life.
And, ADHD or not – how can you make it great?
Wow, that really helped!
Some people read this article and are amazed at how accurate the advice it gives seems.
If you want to learn more, see here.
What Sucks & What Rocks About ADHD – what is good about having ADHD, and what is bad?
ADHD Medications
In 70-80% of people, when combined with therapy, medication works fairly well to treat ADHD. See a Full List of ADHD Medications to learn what the most commonly used treatments are and how well they work.
This paticular page about adhd was very encourageing to me it explained a lot to me about myself. I’m thankful to find it thanks
I have been living with adhd all my life. U r totally right bout how good u r at things that u enjoy. I cannot keep a factory job. Its too boring pushing buttons and watching a machine. The only jobs I can keep are construction jobs. I love building and remodeling and I am very good at it. U show me something once related to construction and ill remember it forever. Its just too bad that right now I haven’t been able to find a new construction job for 6 months even though I have 6 years experience. But my wife is very understanding and doesn’t push me to take another kind of job because she understands that I simply can’t stand any other kind of work and I’ve never had a factory job (except trailer factories because I still get to build and it requires thought and calculations) for more than 2 months.
I spent years as a personal trainer for many large gym chains, ran a GNC and am now in the Decorative Concrete Industry working with my best friend of 24 years. I was diagnosed 2 years ago with ADHD and was prescribed Vyvanse. I was skeptical at first; However, it has helped me help others to focus on their goals and has changed my life for the better in so many ways. Thank you Shire.
Hi, My name is Jana. I am an adult with four children. Two of which have ADHD. It is a horrible struggle trying to get them to focus on things esp. reading. It is also a struggle every new school year with a new teacher that doesn’t understand a child with ADHD, nor have the time to try to understand. We have used Adderall for years, my youngest child put on it at the age of three by the request of a preschhol teacher (who may I ad did understand about the disease). We will be switcing to Vyvanse this week and I will update the site in a month or so when we see if there is a difference and if it is positive or negative.
I have been reading this and i am thinking, wow! I have ADHD! I cant belive this article wasnt written especially for me. a friend recently suggested that i might have ADHD because i spend half my life looking for something i’ve misplaced: my wallet, keys, scarf, sunglasses, etc. I have had trouble all my life with procrastination. Biofuels fascinate me! LOL And if im not interested in something or a conversation, my little voice is screaming “S T U P I D “. I am going to see a dr asap and try some speed!
actually, mark, this article was written just for you. I’m going to delete it now that you found it ;-)
*ahem* that said, if you liked it, you should tots get my book ^^
Where do I send the $8.50 ?
I LOVED this explanation and POSITIVE way of looking at AD/HD!
My younger brother was diagnosed with ADD in elementary school (in the 80′s) and was looked down upon. My middle brother was diagnosed with AD/HD and Dyslexia in college. Having both of my younger siblings diagnosed with learning disorders, I too went and got tested! It turned out I have AD/HD and I am the highest hyper activity level and the highest distractability level!
Since my middle brother and I were able to concentrate enough to still be above average students through coping mechanisms, we stayed below the radar until college! I wish I would have known when I was younger!!! I could have ACTUALLY learned something if I read the books or did my homework or turned in papers consistently and not late.
Anyway, my youngest brother still to this day has a negative outlook about ADD and AD/HD. I hope to send him this article and brighten his outlook! Thank you for contributing to the knowledge of this disorder (I don’t like this term, by-the-way, but am unsure of a better term at the moment) and showing the positives that ‘disorder’ can bring!!!
I get the part about focusing on your interests, but i have 3 questions about it.
First, how can I do this if I am forced to go to school and do well in subjects that dont interest you at all? Its not like I can just say “oh, its ok, I have ADHD so as long as I get an A+ in English and History, its ok for me to fail Science and Math.” How do I deal?
Second, how do i find my interests and what I’m particularly good at? At this point in my life I feel like I still have no idea what I want to do, I’m not interested in anything, and I don’t seem to be very good at anything.
Third, will taking medication prevent me from having these things that I’m supposed to be particularly good at?
I’d appreciate any advice in terms of these 3 issues because I dont know what I want to do with my future and I feel like I never will.
Jill -
if you have ADHD, treatment can be extremely helpful. At the right dose, an ADHD medication helps you focus and deal with, say Science and Math, while letting you keep your passion for English and History. While not ignoring the risks, ADHD treatments like Ritalin, Vyvanse and Adderall can help people, for the first time ever, enjoy studying, long conversations, et cetra, according to Dr. Wender, a clinician/researcher who wrote a set of guidelines for ADHD.
We’re talking finally being able to do things the way other people do while not losing sight of the things that make you you. Please seriously consider finding a therapist or someone who can help you deal with these issues.
As for finding your interests – that’s tough. It’s probably not going to happen in high school but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t get the most you can from your education.
Hope that helps.
Best wishes,
David
I’ve had add my whole life. When I was in school as a kid I could literally not stay in my seat. Now, when I’m in college, my mind wanders on the internet, while I physically stay in my seat. I have to have something on my computer screen to make me feel safe like I won’t (God forbid) get bored. However, it works for me.
I’ve been taking Vyvanse for a while, and although I get very tired sometimes when it wears off, it helps me a lot. When I first started taking medication it completely changed my life.
I get bored with the subjects in class I don’t want to deal with, but on my area of interest, the Middle East and its politics, my mind zeroes in for hours on end. I spend almost every waking moment of my life reading news and history on the internet or in books, usually about the Middle East. I was able to travel there in December and it was amazing. I am good at something.
I got accepted at the School of Oriental and African Studies in London, in a degree for Middle East Politics and I’m starting to learn Arabic. I’ve had several people in my college tell me I’m the smartest person at the school. I’m the president of a middle east oriented club on campus, in addition to outside activism.
This is the cause and calling of my life, I’m good at it, I find it interesting and exciting, so why run away from it? I embrace it and I try to ignore things that bore me. This is the tradeoff in my life. I have to make my life revolve around my interest, not the other way around. It’s hard for me to have a conversation which isn’t political in nature, especially if it’s not about the Middle East or international politics. So, my girlfriend is Palestinian and she helps me learn Arabic. We talk about Palestine and Israel and the other countries for hours and we both love it.
This is the advice I have for other add people: don’t fight your nature, embrace it. You will find people who fit what you’re looking for. Don’t let life box you in.
I am 37/F. I have a daughter that is 12 and she is ADHD. Since we found Vyvanse, we hardly have the (H) anymore. I need some sound advice please. My daughter was diagnosed witht this in first grade. I knew there was an issue with her reading and social life. I did not want to put her on meds at all. I eventually learned that this was not an option. After failed meds.. First I wanted to try Stratera (do not know if I am spelling the meds rite) because they said it was the only non stimulant kind.. Any WAy.. none of this worked for her. I finally got her on Vyvanse and the differnce in her grades, work, social life and concentrtion are amazing ! The big QESTION here is.. Am I ADD? I truely belive I am. I am back in college for follow up accounting degree and concentration is a big obsticle in my way ! I fidget, I cant focus.. I read the same thing 3 times to make myself get it… I am going to see my doctor tomorrow and I hope he allows me to try this to see if I can get the same results my child did.
… as I was saying.. I was doing 3 things besdies that post at the same time and now that I proof read .. what a mess. I will make this one short. I have been diagnosed with depression several times but none of the meds they put on work and I am not about to keep adding and adding meds till I am on 10 and zombie fied”. I agree with some comments here about “embracing” what you have and using it to your advantage. Maybe If I was able to concentrate and focus better I would be a better influence for my child as well. I am worried when I see my doctor tomorrow he will not want to try this. If he does not see this in me or will not find ouf if this works for me what are my other options ? Please help, desperate to enjoy life…..
I know that the terms ADD and ADHD are supposed to be interchangeable, but I seriously don’t think they should be, since they are very different. I was diagnosed with ADD when I was 6 years old, and I have NEVER had the “H” a day in my life! My brain acts very much like someone’s with ADHD (not being able to read a book unless it’s extremely interesting, my brain bouncing from subject to subject so fast that if I don’t write my thoughts down immediately when they pop in my head, they’re gone…etc.), but as the “hyperactivity” issues go, they are non-existant! I have always naturally been the most lethargic, low energy, can-barely-get-outta-bed type of person I know.
I started out on Ritalin when I was 6, which never helped me much, then I got put on Adderall when I was 12 and it was an amazing improvement! I have been on some form of stimulant medication my entire life, and my body, as well as my brain, has never been able to properly function without one. Adderall not only treated my ADD, it also worked on my depression, constant total lack of energy, and it kept my metabolism and weight in check. Over the years before I found something that would work for me, I tried all kinds of different meds, and none even came close to helping me the way that the Adderall did. It always made me feel like a normal person is supposed to, much more than any other treatment method I’ve tried ever could even hope to. In other words, it worked VERY well with my body chemistry. And I really took comfort in the fact that, as long as I had my medication, I would be able to deal with anything. But with that wonderful solution, came a terrible hidden problem. Many people (doctors included), and especially lawmakers, that don’t seem to understand that some of us actually need THIS specific medication, tend to treat people that take Adderall, even for legitimit reasons, much like they’d treat criminals, or drug addicts. I had been taking the Adderall for 12 years, and even though I had a lot of other problems in my life, my ability to function like a normal person was great. Until the day that my doctor, whom I had been seeing my entire life, decided to abruptly drop me as a patient, probably because of how hard the lawmakers are crackin’ down on the decent people that truly need their medication, and the doctors that prescribe it. The honest law-abiding citizens are the only people that actually suffer from these laws, because criminals can find ways around them, but anyways.
This was something that I’d always been afraid of. Now I had to find a new doctor. It took me 4 months to get an appointment with another doctor, and because being on some form of stimulant medication everyday for the last 18 years, and then having to abruptly stop taking them, screwed my body up so bad, I went from like 145lbs to 200lbs, just in the 4 months that it took me to find another doctor! I am currently back on my old dosage of Adderall, that is again helping me with my ADD, and depression, but my body is still 50+ lbs overweight, my metabolism is almost non-existant, I have hideous stretchmarks all over my body, and many other weight-gain related health issues now. Even though I have no problem now with getting my doctor to write my prescriptions, now I’m having a hell of a time finding a pharmacy that carries the right kind, because I have sensitivities, and bad reactions to most of the generic brands, except for the kind I’m used to. So, my question is Do you have any suggestions on what I could do to ensure that this never happens to me, or anyone else again?
There is a really big difference in the H and No H, or plain old inattentive version. first, its harder to get diagnosed, we’re the quiet daydreamers who don’t ever get in trouble but don’t do well in school. Instead of being called a ‘behavior” problem, we get labelled with ‘character” problems, Lazy, unmotivated, etc. We fail repeatedly, get depressed, self-medicate, and gradually start to believe less in ourselves, expect less.
I think the bottom line is that if you think you have add/hd, go see a qualified MD, and in most cases this means seeing a psychiartist, and that is getting more and more difficult. (just about NONE of them in my area take my insurance) Read up on it, advocate for yourself, there is a life out there and tools to help you get it!!
My son was diagnosed a few years ago. He is just like me in everyway, we look like twins except I have signs of ageing. Anyway, I have to say that he changed for the better when he was diagnosed. Grades went up mainly, but he past my current abilities like a rocket ship as far as what he was able to accomplish. ADD was not something they diagnosed a lot in the 70′s when I was a pup, I know that they labeled me as lazy and not living up to my potential. They tested me for all sorts of things but it never came back as ADD that I know of. Even if the doctors were to tell my parents that I had it, they would have never agreed with it just out of being labeled in that day and how it may embarrass the family. I told my mother the other day I wished they had put me on meds, bless her heart she still thinks that I should just try harder. She doesn’t understand.
I really feel that I missed out on so many opportunities. I took the self test and I am so bad I can not believe that I have made it as far as I have. Mixing up words and letters, to practically having to hold in a yawn when speaking to anyone, unless it is very interesting conversation. It is a battle to make a point because I have a thousand things running through my head making it very hard to sleep so much I have to take Ambien. I have very little desire to wake up and I am always in a hurry. When I read that part I knew. I am late at times but make a real effort to be on time, but it is hard. When I am early, I will hurry even more to get their even earlier. Forgetting my keys, wallet, rings; I can not make it to the car without forgetting something.
After reading all about ADD and after the self test I am 100% I have ADD so I have made an appointment with my GP next week. I asked if they treated ADD before I made the appointment. I read that some doctors want to put you on none stimulant meds first, maybe do anti-depressants. I am not depressed.
Am I wasting my time with an internal medicine doctor? Should I see a therapist when I don’t need therapy? I feel hopeless!
I come from an African upbringing. I didn’t have ADHD when i was younger, I was just “difficult”. It was not until later that my Godmother took me for testing that I found out there was a reason that I was the way. Though my mom approves, the rest of my family does understand that i need to be put on medication. It’s not that they don’t my case is that severe, though it is. It’s because they still don’t believe that ADHD exist.
This article helped put things in perspective. Thank you.!
I went to a neurologist for migraines and I explain some things to him going on in my life and how I felt. Long story short, after a couple of tests, I have ADHD, I am 31 years old and just figured it out. This article explains perfectly what it’s like and yes I agree completely, we are responsible for our lives. I have been prescribed medication and I look forward to learning more about this condition and how I can overcome it. Don’t let ADHD hinder you, I am a CEO and I contribute my ADHD is a part of me climbing that ladder to get there.
Jay- Don’t worry that you aren’t doing the right thing, just do something. bring a copy of whatever self assessments you have done, tell your GP about your son, about your own academic/work history. You say you feel hopeless. I spent YEARS being treated for depression before I was diagnosed. and I WAS depressed from years and years of underachieving and feeling like some kind of impostor (by then I had a masters degree!?) . So go to your GP, see what he/she says, the worst thing that could happen is that you will be put on something that doesn’t work, and you can rule that med out and move on, or they may make a referral to someone who will definitively treat you. I am a big believer in meds plus therapy for the person who gets dx later in life because we have years of faulty assumptions we walk around with, and we have to start to relabel and rebuild our own self-image. Not to mention we have to get over all the resentment and anger towards all those people who just didn’t know any better, and learn new strategies for getting things done…..(Me: you mean I can get stuff done now instead of waiting till the last minute and working in a crazy panic?)
any step you take is the right one.
Your characterization fits me exactly. I need stimulation and excitement, or I can’t do anything. i got by as a computer programmer for years, because the thrill of typing in letters and seeing a screen respond majically never leaves me. Then I became an entreprenuer/inventor – nothing is more exciting than creating something new that actually sells in volume in the marketplace!! I love building around the house, why?? Because I create somethiing useful that wasn’t there before. Of course, I didn’t build up too many “skills,” over the years, so now that my patents are licensed, they better bring in some money or I’m hurting a bit.
I got a bigger problem, however, which is this. I have an anxiety disorder which is cured by the medication Nardil — it works like a dream. But it seems to be the only one that does this, and its dangerous to take both Nardil and psychostimulants at the same time.
And I have a follow-up. I realized I had ADHD when my son obviously had the condition and I learned that ADHD is the most genetically derived of all the pychological conditions. I have been treating my son with psychostimulants, and I noticed something striking. If he has not taken any meds for a while, and then I start him on Ritalin or Focalin, I get an amazing improvement on the first day. The second day is a little less, and then, after a while the benefit settles out at only a fraction of what it was at the beginning.
I believe I know what is going on. I found a website by a Dr Digges who explained that, while the hyperactivity suppression benefit of ritalin is related to the level of the chemical in the blood, the concentration benefit of Ritalin is reelated to the increase of the level with time, i.e. the slope. So, on the first day, my son has no ritalin built up in his system, and the pill creates a steep slope in the concentration vs time behaviour. When he takes the pill on day two, however, the slope is not as dramatic because he is not starting out with a Rtialin level of zero.
I saw this effect over and over, and I wonder why Ritalin is rated as effective as Adderall. I believe it may be because the measures of effectiveness do not separate concentration with suppression of hyperactivity.
I’m about to start Harry on Adderall, and hope that works better. In any event, I can say this — his improvement on the FIRST day of Ritalin was absolutely dramatic and, although I might not be able to repeat it, it at least tells me what his potential is.
I am 46 years old and I have just been diagnosed with HDHD about 2 months ago and was prescribed Strattera. I did not like the side effects and could not really tell a difference in my ability to focus or concentrate. I have just recently been prescribed Vyvanse. I believe the Vyvanse is starting to make a difference. I think with the new medication and some self dicipline and a revamp of my organizational skills, I will be heading down the right path. It nice to finally know what I have been dealing with my whole life.
Any ideas from people who are more experienced than I am in dealing with ADHD and what it takes to develop new organizational practices after a lifetime of bad ones would be helpfull. Thanks for the intuative article.
In the school of psychology–this article is way off. There is much you can do about ADHD (DrugTherapy, CBT, REBT, Behavioral, etc.). I feel like this article speaks as if you need to. The most important thing about ADHD is pursuing your passion and being honest with yourself.