Nobody is born with a charming personality; it takes time to develop one. However, there are a few people who lead charismatic lives, and we often see them cast a magnetic spell over others, inspiring confidence and respect. No matter how rich or poor they are, as soon as they walk into a room, they become the centre of attention.
American Psychiatric Association (1) has conducted studies and identified that personality traits differ from one individual to another. They define personality traits as “enduring patterns of perceiving, relating to, and thinking about the environment and oneself that are exhibited in a wide range of social and personal contexts.” Theorists consider traits to be fairly steady over time and play a significant part in influencing behaviour. For example, while some people are outgoing, others may be reserved.
There are a few indispensable tips to develop a charming personality:
Be yourself – I know this sounds really simple, but it isn’t. Most of the times, we are trying to imitate other people. Charming people are not fake, but they display the perfect side of their actual self. People who moan all the time and feel bitter are not charming, but people who actively choose not to be bitter are completely fascinating. You need to recognize your strengths and weaknesses. Start with your weaknesses and rectify them to become a better person compared to what you are at present. Being happy and positive all the time is the secret of being yourself.
Improve your posture – Correct posture gives the impression of self-assurance even if you are not feeling that way. Whilst walking, keep up a relaxed and authoritative upright posture – a straight spine, shoulders thrown back and your head in level with the ground. This may feel a bit odd when you first start to practice, but you will get used to it gradually. Relax your facial muscles and maintain a calm, pleasant expression. When you greet other people, try to keep a relaxed eye contact. A pleasant smile and a firm handshake will set the ball rolling.
Learn to accept – Be positive with others all the time and give utmost regard. Hold no grudges against others and see no faults. Once you practice to accept them the way they are, you will be perceived to be a charming person. For example, you can start smiling with real happiness on seeing other people. This boosts self-esteem in others and makes them feel important. They will instantly find you charming.
Appreciate others – To make others feel valuable, start appreciating them by making it a habit to say “thank you” every time, no matter how big or small the occasion is. By thanking people around you, you are increasing their self-confidence. Once this becomes a natural thing, you will start to genuinely care about others instead of making just an impression. This will help you develop a natural, charming personality.
Start complimenting others – As Abraham Lincoln once said, “Everybody likes a compliment.” When you start complimenting people around you in a positive manner, you can instantly see how happy others will feel. They will start to like themselves more and will return the kindness even more. The more important you make other people feel; the more charming they will consider you to be.
Curiosity is great – There is nothing more irresistible to come across a person who is interested in everything around him. Knowledge is power and it gives an edge in conversations with others. One thing to remember is it’s not about how much you know, but how much more you want to know.
Remember people’s names – Acknowledging people by their name during conversations is very important. It makes the other person feel valued and important. I know it is difficult for most people, but by repeating the person’s name when saying your name to that person can help you to remember it better. This way, people will generally warm up to you.
Be fearless – A courageous and adventurous approach towards life will captivate onlookers, leading them to learn more about you. People who smile all the time, dance or sing in public places and who are not afraid of making a fools of themselves, are considered to have a charming personality.
Although the above tips can assist you become more charismatic, but your charisma must come from within you and reflect you as an individual otherwise it will fall flat. On a positive note, everybody has the ability to be charismatic. All it takes is some practice to inculcate good habits and work on areas that need improvement.
1) American Psychiatric Association