50 Tips on How to Make Friends

Smiling Woman


“A friend is a gift you give yourself,” – Stevenson

I wrote this list to help myself, and was surprised when other people really enjoyed it, thought it was helpful, and used it to improve their friendships.

If you find it useful, bookmarking it or saving a copy might be a good idea.

And if you especially like it, consider doing me a favor. (Vote for this article on Digg, link to it, leave a comment, and so on)

1) Listen to people!

2) Then ask about what they just said.

3) And make sure to remember their name!

Once you’ve got that:

4) Follow up afterwards

This is extremely, extremely important.  When you meet someone you like, follow up! Send an email, or a quick call or a whatever. Invite them to spend more time with you.

An interesting way to make it easier for your potential friend to hang out with you is to offer them two options when you initially contact them, like getting drinks or catching coffee.

If you don’t try to make friends, then you probably won’t.

5) Be excited to see people

Train yourself to be excited to meet people.

6) Treat everyone the same

To make the previous suggestion happen, think of everyone as being a close, dear friend whom you’re excited to see. Not easy to do, but it will change how you deal with people for the better and make you that much more likeable.

7) Get involved with clubs

Like dancing?  Cooking?  Whatever it is – find a relevant club, and get involved.

8) Get involved with your religious community

9) Visit someone when they’re sick

When someone is sick, they need our help most of all. Be considerate and caring; make them some chicken soup or a get well card. The effort means a lot.

10) Focus on safe topics

When you just met someone, don’t talk politics!

11) Don’t be afraid to ask about something more personal, but be gentle and careful

Some of the best conversations are about the thorniest issues.  Discussing religion, for instance, often gives me a whole new perspective and insights – but I have to be very careful not to be too strong with my own view.

12) Take ’em into your element

What kind of environment or activity do you shine in? Are you an avid mushroom picker, or love to take long walks? Invite friends to join you!

13) Be that guy who starts conversations

You know the guy I’m talking about. The one who starts talking to a complete stranger like they’ve known each other for years. Be that guy! Talk to people about what they’re doing if it’s reasonable to do so.

14) Always greet people

If you can say “Hello” to someone do so, like your neighbors. Even if you never become friends, it’s a great habit to have.

15) He’s always right

When you have a fight or misunderstanding with someone, they’re always right. In their mind that is.

And they have good reasons – or just plain old bad reasons – for thinking so. How come?

16) Take culture into account

Different cultures have different ways of relating and expressing themselves. For Americans, a certain form of honesty is essential, and making eye contact. Other cultures have more emphasis on group support, and being more polite.

These differences can have a big impact on what expectations you have for a social interaction.

17) What do they like?

What do your friends like to do? What makes them happy? Make it your business to know.

18) Lose arguments

If you have a fight and you’re right, great. But don’t jeopardize a meaningful relationship over something small.

19) Don’t appease a friend in a moment of anger

If someone is angry, they might not be thinking rationally. Wait. Even if you want to talk to them right now, it’s best to wait until you’re both calmer and more capable of dealing with it.

20) Notice tadpole sales

Does a friend of yours love tadpoles? Then notice that coupon for free tadpole in the newspaper! Making the effort to notice opportunities and things that’ll benefit those you know, means that people will do the same for you.

21) Defend your friend’s honor

Don’t let people badmouth your friends.

22) If he gossips to you

he’ll gossip about you. This Turkish saying is very true.

23) Don’t be efficient with people

Don’t try to rush your interactions with people.

24) Treat your promises seriously

If you tell your friend you’re going to do something, do it.  This is essential to build credibility and be a consistent person.

25) Be yourself!

Ultimately, people like you for you.  Forget about being artificial, about coming off the right way – just be yourself!

  • “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Bonnie Wasmund

26) Try sites like meetup.com

Some social networking sites offer free chances to meet new people.  And its not as sketchy as you think because you meet in public settings.

27) Take a class

Educational settings are a great way to meet interesting and smart people – like yourself.

28) Learn a new language

This will add millions of potential friends to your life

29) Remember birthdays

30) Be friends with your family

Your family aren’t necessarily your friends – but they can be, and perhaps should be.

31) Read about friendship

Inspirational stories give you perspective and motivate you to be a better person

32) Refer your friends professionally

If your friend is a graphic designer, and someone you know needs one, why not make the connection?  Both sides will thank you!

33) Ask people about what they care about

34) Be positive

Bring a good energy to your friendships.

35) Don’t judge

If someone opens up to you, be respectful.  It probably wasn’t easy.

36) Test the water

Before telling someone a deep secret, make sure you can trust them.  Some people just can’t keep secrets.  Try giving a lesser but still juicy secret, and seeing if other people somehow find out about it.

37) Be nice!

Just find ways to be nice to your friends.  If you cook something, share it!  And so on.

38) Use facebook

Take advantage of facebook’s social features.  It tells you your friends birthdays, for instance, and can help organize and tell you about events.

39) Join online communities

Your favorite hobby probably has an online community based on it that you can become a part of.

40) Join a support group

41) Make a chore a group activity

Painting the house?  Cleaning the garage?  Become chore-buddies with someone!  This is great because there’s less pressure to talk and a focus on completing a task, which can create good feelings.  Plus it just makes the chore fun.

43) Conferences

Go to professional conferences in your field!  You’ll meet interesting like-minded people.

44) Make friends at work

45) Join a gym

and take classes. You’ll meet some cool new people!

46) Join a book group

47) Help friends at the airport

Traveling through airports is very stressful.  Take the time to see a friend off and help with baggage and so on; they’ll never forget it.

48) Be ready to help

Sometimes people ask for help at random times.  Notice what your friend isn’t saying.

49) Expand your friendship network

Make friends with your friends’ friends.  Rinse, and repeat.

50) Join a sports team!

  • “Like wine, a good friendship only improves with age.” – Turkish saying

You might like:

  1. 50 More Ways to Make Friends
  2. 24 Way to Improve your life
  3. The Ten Worst Diseases Ever
  4. Ethical Issues in Health and Medicine

If this post was useful to you, I’m happy.

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37 thoughts on “50 Tips on How to Make Friends

  1. This Is Some Bullshhit iListened Too This Dumb Shit Now I Have Zero Friends My Friends Are  Messy Useless And Mean. They Dont Like When You Be Nice You Should Take Notes On how Too be Rude And See How Many Hits You Get .. Until Then Thsi Is So Not Cute OR Fun . Im Like Totally  Fuckin Pised Of ….. ,

  2. This Is Some Bullshhit iListened Too This Dumb Shit Now I Have Zero Friends My Friends Are  Messy Useless And Mean. They Dont Like When You Be Nice You Should Take Notes On how Too be Rude And See How Many Hits You Get .. Until Then Thsi Is So Not Cute OR Fun . Im Like Totally  Fuckin Pised Of ….. 

  3. lol god-fearing person you prick. lol educative is incorrect, so much for EDUCATION, so much for GOD, clearly didn’t get you very far.

  4. This is so interesting and educative,thank you for your comments.But all these can be done if you are a God fearing person.God bless you please.

  5. I never knew knowing about tadpoles were so important, I guess that is why I have no friends. Going to read a book about tadpoles and become an expert on them now.

  6. I am the cheerleader, the all around athlete and student. I am a very outgoing and friendly person. I said all of this to let the “shy” ppl reading this know, even though we look like its easy to talk to someone sometimes we also need help. We may even be practicing something like what this nice person posted. And you aren’t “faking it” if you go to meet a friend and they don’t share your same interests, be nice and just don’t ask them to hang out anymore, be conservative about it, not liberal

  7. Got to love #25) Be yourself!, after being told to purposefully lose arguments, treat everyone the same, and fake get excited about seeing everyone.

  8. @ admin…Thank u for this blog. it was totally helpful but would like to know how you know that the new friend likes you? And is it ok to tell how you feel about them platonically. Thanks.

  9. I have plenty of good friends. I dont mean three or four i mean ten or more.  Many many more.  I came on this article to give some advice. 
    -Be very nice to people.
    -Talk about immediate topics. “I hope i did good on this exam” 
    -Bring up safe topics such as sports games or big news. Nothing freaky
    -Build up on acquaintences you already have.
    -Be yourself…but dont be too much of it. We dont wanna know what you do in your room at night.
    -Always look your 100% best. People judge majorly based on apperance. A big part of it is hair.
    -Be natural about talking/meeting someone. Do not pester them.
    Well those are my 2 cents. :)

  10. to gaileisau
    I have a good friend who is blind. We met because I volunteered at the local Rose Resnick House for the Blind, and I was matched as her volunteer, but we became friends over time. I don’t know if there is a Resnick House near you, but look for something similar where you live. My friend moved to America alone, blind, started her own business, and supports herself on it, and has since become a US citizen – doing all the paper work herself!! Take time to adjust, but eventually know you can do anything you want with your life. And the rest of the advise on the list was good – like joining things you like, volunteering and getting involved in your local religous community. All the best finding friends, you can do it! – Holi

  11. I’m from asia and I’m new in america.It has been 1 year since i came here but i don’t have any best friend here.I join basketball,so that i can make some friend but that remain as my dream.I’m struggling to make friend. can some body help me with some advice plzzzzz

  12. right now im trying to make friend with someone and hopefully i will make friend with this someone :)) and these are a lil bit helpful

  13. I am a 49 year old women who has lost her vision 2 years ago. This happend 3 weeks after moving to a new city. Being confined at home makes it very difficult into meeting new people of my age. I am not interested into PC freinds, because I am enough confined at home as it is, therfore I am more in need of freinds ouside of home, with whom I can do things with. I do have a few freinds, that I just happened to meet the first 3 weeks that I was here, but they are much younger. For example my nest door neighbour who is 28, and a girl I had began to take a course with who is 27. These are the only people I’ve meet prior to loosing my seight, since then I been home all the time, and because of the age difference, we don’t have the same social life. I also have my two daughters with me who are 17 and 18, and this is very fortunate, but still it would be nice to be with people more of my age.
    And I work from home in telemarketing, but again my job has become my social life, and that is only on the phone. Any sugestions

  14. Wow. Do people really Need help in making friends? Are we that domesticated as a culture? Shocking. Heres advice.
    If your over the age of 20 and you have no friends,
    there mat be a Reason. Before you embarass your self, see a shrink and get the go that your ok.

    wouldnt want to go out and make a fool of your non friended self would you.

    Beer does Not Help you make friends.

  15. I was smiling becasue to be honest – the greatest things to do are sometimes seen as the most simple.
    You have done a great job of bringing to mind some of the simple things we take for granted in making, developing and keeping friends.

    Good work. I am pleased my friend – Keep up the good work.

    Rev Steele – Barbados [ steele trinity youth academy ]

  16. Thanks for the comment, Dee! :) Yep, it was correct, but I already had the answer. It was figuring out how to do it that was the problem.

  17. Hey there – Totally agree with all that you say. It takes time and effort to be a nicer person, I think generally we all take too much for granted.

    Thanks for your nice comments on my blog too :0))

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